What's the first rule of looking cool after being defriended, you do not talk about being defriended. The second rule? YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEING DEFRIENDED!

gosh ya know what makes me nuts? Lots of things. But you know what pissed me off three minutes ago?

I noticed just recently that I was missing the delightfully curmudgeony updates from an old co-worker. Yes, that's right folkes. I have been de-friended.

gasp!
 
I've ranted about this before. Here's why it pisses me off:

When you notice something like this, especially where there doesn't seem to be a particular reason for it, or the reasons you do come up with are stupid childish reasons, your first instinct is to respond in the manner which you have been dealt with. Also known as the 3rd grade school yard approach. You know, elementary school, where we learned about George Washington and how to be passive aggressive and materialistic.

Here's what facebook has done, kids. Facebook has effectively given everyone their own club. With which they can be as inclusive or exclusive as they were in third grade. You can excommunicate people from your club anydamntime you like, for any reason imaginable. It's you're right as a citizen of a country that has the interwebs.
It happens to everyone now and then. But when it happens to you, it seems to suck more than when it happens to other people, or when it happens to the people you do it to. When it does happen to you, all you really want to do is return the discourtesy. But you can't.

The only reason you get pissed is because you're fucked off you didn't think of it first. Even if you're not sure what you did to deserve it. At least in grade school when your friend yells "You're not my friend anymore!" you can yell back "Yeah, well you're not my friend anymore either." There is no such equivalent in the game of facebook. They don't see your rant, the people who defriend you never get to see how pissed off you are. You are not given the courtesy of a comeback. Isn't that a kick in the nuts?

And the damage of this clever little weapon has LAYERS! Once the recess rampage wears off, you realize exactly how little any of it matters, and how stupid all of it is. All this ranting and hurt feelings have no place in reality. It's lame to rant about facebook slights in public. The fact that you even took notice, well it makes you sound like a loser with no life. And the kicker in this particular case is, this particular specimen is old enough to be my dad. Old enough to know better, and does know better having felt the burn of being defriended before, I know because he ranted about it back when I was a member of his cool kid club. However, knowing that he knows how it feels means I can't explain it away by saying he's oblivious, he knows exactly what it feels like so the move must be deliberate and the effect desired. Which means I must have done something truly horrible to offend him or betray his trust. Probably. I am a horrible evil person with plans to take over the world and crush any insect you dares to step in my way. Or maybe he just finally realized how unworthy I actually am of being in his cool person's club.

Oh...and now I'm entering the phase where I realize how pointless all of it is. Yup....now I'm angry because I let something as stupid and petty as a defriending get to me enough to make it a topic of my brand new shiny blog. Which is how the terrorists win. That's how they win, dammit!

Final thoughts on the subject are as follows: I might have been deprived of the opportunity for a cool witty comeback, but let's face facts, I wouldn't have used it. I'm as passive aggressive as they get. I just wanted the formality for politeness' sake. I am nothing if not civilized. Also, about the worst thing you can do is turn around and defriend someone else. Most bullies are bullied themselves by bigger bullies. You can't be mean to someone else because someone was mean to you. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't feel good after. So if I was deprived of an opportunity to be mean to someone who doesn't deserve it, then perhaps that's for the best. What I wasn't deprived of however, was a good long blogified rant, in which I can let it all out. And now I'm going to post in on facebook so all of the people I haven't defriended can read it. Oh my precious facebook clubmembers. I hope that by reading this they know I don't hate any of them enough to excommunicate them.